Quick and easy pointers to keep in mind the next time you wish you had more control and find your stress levels breaking through the roof.

At thirty I finally got my very own pet- a gorgeous, youthful Bengal cat we named Noorie. Defiant and boldly independent, Noorie had all the makings of a warrior- a big heart, infinite innocence, undying curiosity and courageous compassion. But her greatest gift was to get me to relinquish my need to control my environment- in her very first month with us, I moved from obsessing over every corner of my home to relaxing into it.

Discarding a ‘no pets on the bed’ policy, I began to look forward to our cuddles at night- no matter how much kitty-hair it left behind on my sheets. I learnt that she was less likely to jump around uncontrollably if I tempered my responses, if I didn’t scream every time, she attempted to explore her new home. I began to recognize the delicate harmony that emerged between us if I switched off my fears and presumptions, and actually paused to observe and listen to her.

Noorie taught me to bin all that I thought I knew in favour of what each moment presented. In love and forthright simplicity, she showed me how to live in the ‘here and now’ and how to let go. A valuable lesson in mindful living, Noorie was as much my pet as I was hers!

Many among us tend to chase dust around the house; we all have our little obsessions that draw and drive us into unhealthy behaviours and patterns. Whether you seek to contain your finances or the lines on your face, fidget and fuss over work or how your children are dressed, the need to control is deeply ingrained into us from our very first breath. We envision life as a movement from helplessness to complete command, working diligently to rein in our environment, relationships, identity and any aspects we consider vital. And while commitment and diligence are deeply admirable, it is when we lose sight of the wisdom of change that our need to control turns viral.

Our efforts to execute perfection from a static perspective single-handedly translate our life from supreme success to sweeping stress. Our desire to command becomes counterproductive and enslaves us to its consistent demands. In order to restore balance to our life and restore a sense of well-being in mind, body and spirit, it is important to relax and return to the ‘here and now’- suspending our regrets and worries, to engage fully in this moment.

Mindfulness invites us to let go of trying to control in order to step in more fully to the task at hand, and the experience it offers. This not only eases up the stress and pressure, it actually improves our chances at reaching our goals- be that competition, ambition or harmony. Here are some simple strategies to help you let go.

Be Mindful of Change : Whenever you find yourself stressing to control a situation, take a moment to reflect on the inevitability of change. The entire universe progresses and diversifies- even if only a drop at a time; change is inherent to all that is and accepting this sacred rule allows us to accept the movements it brings into our work, life and endeavours. Instead of seeking to control what is no longer, it calls upon us to adapt to what is- all in keeping with our personal and collective evolution.

Be Mindful of Breath : Whenever you wish to let go, focus on your breath. It can tell you a lot about your state of being- how tense or relaxed you truly are no matter what your words or expressions might indicate. Whether relinquishing your control over a person, object or initiative, you can use your breath to fuel your efforts.

Be Mindful of Perspective : If you’ve ever met the Hanged Man in a tarot deck, you will recognize the gift of suspended thought. Taking time out from a situation or challenge is often the best way to resolving it. Stepping away not only allows you to reboot your mind and calm down the panic talk, but it also allows you to start from scratch, diving into new perspectives and strategies.

Instead of seeking to control a situation from a fixed vantage point, the Hanged Man invites us to let go and step back to reflect on why our efforts aren’t delivering. You don’t need to hang upside down like him to encourage review and reflection, but the more you let go, the fresher your next try and the greater your chances of success. Meditate, try yoga, tai chi or exercise, or simply knit away- engage in a focused activity of your choice. It frees your mind up to silently brew away before you get back in there, allowing you to approach life with inventive adaptability instead of consuming control.